1. I turn on the indicator to coincide with the downbeat of the music I’m listening to on the radio. I go mental if the tempi match. If I’m feeling reckless I’ll add counter-rhythms with the windscreen wipers.
2. Both of my little toes are squashed as if I was the childhood victim of some bizarre foot binding ritual. One of my legs is longer than the other by about an inch. I have it manipulated back into place every couple of years or so. I have one dimple, not two. Actually now that I think about it, my features and limbs are completely beleaguered by asymmetry! (a bit too much chlorine in the gene pool methinks) I’ve a dropped right shoulder that constantly needs stretching and realignment. I blame Bob the Double Bass for that one.
3. I prefer the Clydesdale over all other horses cos they've got flares. They're the hippies of equine society.
4. Sometimes I can't even remember what I had for tea the night before but I have this freakish memory for tunes. I'm often left standing like a mute when asked to recall names, dates or places unless I have a musical reference for them. For some people, smells trigger memory, for me it’s always been 70s advertising jingles, Dolly Parton & Kenny Rogers.
5. If I’m not totally convinced a book is going to be good judging by the content, author and cover notes, I will read random chapters out of order before starting at the beginning.
6. Rather than throw it over my shoulder, I put a pinch of salt in my coffee. I swear by pork spare ribs coated generously in chinese five spices as a hangover cure. I hate melons.
7. Drinking a lot of alcohol makes me terribly funny. It also makes me terribly fat. This is not necessarily an oddity but as a die-hard beer lover, it certainly seems a bit odd to me.
8. I get lonely at night and have arguments with myself over the amount of blankets and what side of the bed to sleep on. Sometimes, I just like to hear the sound of my own voice.
9. My vices all belong to the ‘c’ family: coffee, codeine, cigarettes, cheese, chocolate pineapple lumps, chunky chips and chinese checkers...actually I think it’s Mah-jong I have the addiction to but since when did I ever let the truth get in the way of a chance to use alliteration? I issue instructions to the Mini-Spy in spoonerisms just to drive her a little crazy.
10. I can’t swim the butterfly. Previous public attempts to rectify this have alarmed epileptics and near-drowning victims.