Scratching my own funny bone for shits and giggles. Lampooning books, music and being a single woman over 40. Recording observations with an almost Seinfeldian obsession for the minutiae of life. Things can get sweary around here. You understand.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

SAVING BLUNTNESS FOR BLUNTY

Years ago when I was working for the Once Formidable FM Radio Station all the staff were given a copy of 'Don't Sweat the Small Stuff' by self-help guru Richard Carlson as a Christmas gift. I'm not adverse to this type of genre as they generally contain something useful; be that either for the purpose of piss-taking or serious consideration. Well I had cause to be reminded of one of the chapters contained within that little tome this morning when I was criticized by a young chap on YouTube for playing 'Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover' incorrectly. When I first read his comment I was ready to lash back with full ammunition but decided to find the 'grain of truth' in his criticism before committing myself. One of the lessons in DSTSS discusses the benefits of this technique in that it gives us a chance to learn something we may have overlooked. So after giving his advice serious consideration I found him to be talking out of his arse and told him in so many words. Now I find I’m having mixed feelings about it all. You see I’ve alienated friends before because I’ve opened my big mouth to righteously defend a position. The need to be right and the need to make other people wrong doesn’t always sit well with me (it is appropriate at Blunty though not particularly productive with loved ones) but in the case of the 20 year old self-proclaimed bass expert that I will never have to lay eyes on, I’m feeling both victorious and ashamed in equal measures. So for all the She-Man traits I pride myself on there seems to be no getting away from this distinctly feminine desire to keep the peace and the ensuing internal counterpoint of feelings. I think. URGH.

40 comments:

Natalia the Russian Spy said...

I take it all back! I don't feel the least regretful after reading his latest comment.

I'm not saying you suck your just not a PRO and the " I worked it out by ear " shows your clueless. The funny thing is watching you play you do some slides at the wrong spot and the groove<<< if thats what you call it is lame at best. When you start to do you little dance thing trying to help you feel the FUNK it shows your whiteness............you bleed white rice. Your so off the down beat its FUNNY to watch. Your technique on your fret hand is not bass or guitar ...its cat paw.

Nautilus said...

"distinctly feminine desire to keep the peace and the ensuing internal counterpoint of feelings" doesn't sound like any female I know.

The joke "I knew I married Mrs Right, I just didn't realise her first name was Always" didn't come from women being easy going.

yankeedog said...

Yeah, but his grammar is good...:S

You know, if I don't like something, especially on a YouTube video, I'm probably not going to waste time commenting on it. I'll just move on.
Dude needs to put up his own work, and we'll see if he's a better bass player or if he's orating out his rectal socket.

ausgaz said...

Yeah. What Yankeedog said. Get him to put up or shut up.

Duelling Bass instead of banjos.

Natalia the Russian Spy said...

Thus far:

ainziscool14: Please don't take this personal but the way your playing that is all wrong. The first note is a G on the D string thenon the same string you go up to 12th D now down a whole step then a half. Second phrase is E on the D string up past 12th now down a half to a D#o6 that is the sweet noteand so on from there try that. Hope this helps you, out

NatalievandenHurk: Oh trust me I won't be taking that the wrong way. As I was trained to play double bass you will find that there are numerous ways to play the same note in different positions on different strings. Moreover I was taught to be economical with shifts. Why slide up to the twelfth fret when I can reach over to the next string and stay in the same position? I add slides in when their is an expressive need for it.

ainziscool14: Although you can and do find these notes some times to play the line right you have to hit the sweet spots and you don't, kind of like how your missing all the pickup note in the G Bb c portion......maybe you need to take more lessons

NatalievandenHurk: Maybe you need to rack off until you've formulated a critique worthy of offering.

ainziscool14: I'm not saying you suck your just not a PRO and the " I worked it out by ear " shows your clueless. the funny thing is watching you play you do some slides at the wrong spot and the groove<<< if thats what you call it is lame at best. When you start to do you little dance thing trying to help you feel the FUNK it shows your whiteness............you bleed white rice. Your so off the down beat its FUNNY to watch. Your technique on your fret hand is not bass or guitar ...its cat paw.

NatalievandenHurk: The video was recorded with a cheap webcam in which there is a syncronisation problem between audio and video. The video is behind the audio which explains your rather ignorant observations. Perhaps if you had a clue you would have noticed that. Now until you create a video response to this in which you show me the error of my ways with your own superlative technique get the fuck off my channel.

MrScribbler said...

I'm confused....I didn't know there was a right way to play "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover."

Learn somefink new every day.

P.S. If there's actually a "right" way, I'm voting for your way, Nat.

Natalia the Russian Spy said...

NAUT: Always having to be right isn't necessarily unique to females though is it? My daughter's father would rather walk on hot coals than admit an error. We're all afflicted with it to some degree.

YANKEE and GAZ: I've been struggling with how to say that to him without sounding like a kid in a schoolyard brawl!

SCRIBS: Hey you! Yes that was my point - there are thousands of different fingering configurations for playing the same thing. My explanation obviously didn't satisfy him.

Nautilus said...

Yes it is unique to females, trust me I am always right.

Natalia the Russian Spy said...

MWAH!

Barnesm said...

I am so jumping over to Youtube when I get home (can't access at work) to smite ainziscool14 -what a pozer.

NatalieV if you want my thoughts I think you are completely correct and will be there backing you up if this turns into an online bar room brawl.

Nautilus said...

ainzisatool.

Natalia the Russian Spy said...

NAUT: I'm certain he'll be back tomorrow (sleepy bo-boes in the US) and if it gets particularly nasty I'm going to resort to name calling. Cock sucker came to mind but that would be an insult to cock suckers everywhere.

BARNES: I tried so hard at first to be civilised...but it all went pear shaped when I realized I was talking to someone who was pretending to know something...and when he started with the ghetto talk (apparently I 'oooze white rice') that was the end of it. WTF does that mean anyway? Get ready to grease your weapons!

chazfh said...

Me? I'd have found out where he lived and then got Rhino or Murph to pop around and explain the error of his ways.

Ooze white rice..is that a mediacal complaint? ewww!

'You see I’ve alienated friends before because I’ve opened my big mouth to righteously defend a position' You? No! I don't belive it!!!!!

Natalia the Russian Spy said...

CHAZ: Yeah all I could think of was Thrush. Nearly gagged. Ain't no polyester in this house.

Dr Yobbo said...

I don't understand the need to slag off entertainment other people are providing for free on the internet. Why leave a comment if all you're going to do is pour piss on the efforts contained within? A fairly pathetic indictment on where we are as a society when everyone gets the right to belittle everyone else, even from a distance of tens of thousands of miles.

(Which is a bit ironic given the last time I commented here was to obnoxiously point out the content-borrowing from 27b/6 in the last piece, so maybe I need to sing from my own hymn sheet)

Moko said...

DSTSS?. Fuck that. Both barrels point blank range THEN go and figure out the details. Remember you can block and delete like it never happened on Youtube.

Natalia the Russian Spy said...

YOBBO: Yeah the old saying 'if you've got nothin' nice to say then say nuffin' at all' usually serves most of us well. But what really got under my goat was the more he commented the more idiotic he sounded. I tried but couldn't resist barking back. As for the 27b/6 piece, you weren't being obnoxious. I was grateful that you pointed it out. By forgetting to acknowledge David Thorne I left myself open to the obvious presumption.

MOKO: Yeah I intend blocking him after this little flame war is over. I'm so sensitive...I really do have to MAN THE FUCK UP.

Bangar said...

Nat, it sounds rather Trollish.
Also I thought it would take more skill, knowledge and ability to replay a piece from ear rather than sheet music. I may go play.

Natalia the Russian Spy said...

BANG: Well the thing is mate...for longer more complex pieces I actually notate the score and read it rather than doing it from memory. Of course I've worked it out by ear first and then laid down the notes. That is because sheet music for popular music is not very extensive. But yes working it out by ear is a great skill to have. Which is why I can't understand the sledge. If he was implying that I was inferior because I wasn't reading it he obviously hasn't read my profile.

As for the troll part...yeah it's weird. It's my first experience with one...besides SJS.

Bangar said...

Ah yes Sweet Jane another reason retro active birth control.

Girl Clumsy said...

Oh, I got into a fight with some dude on YouTube once too! I'm sure I've still got the correspondence somewhere, it was hilarious. Essentially he blamed me that my video came up when he entered a certain search term - I can't remember what it was, but it had NOTHING to do with my vid. Why he was so angry at me was a mystery.

I went to his channel and he had a bunch of hateful vids, particularly anti-women. Your typical 18-year-old white dude with a webcam, angry at the world and those chicks who won't let him do it to them.

Anyway, I had this long, elucidatory discussion with him - well, I elucidated, and he just wrote back with things like "Y R U TALKING BULLSHIT" etc. It was most entertaining.

I don't visit a lot of forums so I don't encounter probably the worst trolls, but YouTube certainly has a massively high arsehole component.

Natalia the Russian Spy said...

GC: Bloody hell! Y R people so unkind??? Hehehehe....I had to control the urge to point out this dude's misuse of the word your when he should have written you're...damn it I wish he'd have been more illiterate.

Therbs said...

Dicks like that deserve no emotional energy gain. An attention seeking twat who pulls himself to joy while watching vids of copulating spanner crabs. Fuck him, the horse he rode in on and the grass which fed the horse which transported the twatty dweeb. Sorry Nat but those sorts of people just aren't worth any energy except anger. As PIL pointed out, anger is an energy.

Natalia the Russian Spy said...

THERBS: Honey! Yeah you're right. I struggled for several hours. Do I dignify this guy with a response or not? In the end ego took over. I so tried to be all Zen about it but failed.

Flinthart said...

Nat: don't waste your breath and energy. You play well. Q1 - has the troll put up anything for comparison? Q2 - has it occurred to you the size of penis likely possessed by anybody insecure enough to poke around YouTube picking fights with women they don't know, and using risible insults like "ooze white rice"?

You really wanna fuck with him? Pick something Chinese and play the baseline for that. Or Russian, maybe. Balkan. Middle Eastern. Or Spanish, Central American... anything that isn't appreciably "black USAnian". After that, your man can be just as black as he wants, and it'll only make him more obviously an idiot.

Natalia the Russian Spy said...

DIRK: Answer to Q1: No. But I have asked him to. Answer to Q2: Yes it did occur to me but I chose to react. A part of me is still shocked at people's fuckwitedness and in a moment of delusion think that they might admit to this. I still feel stupid for even participating.

Steve said...

You should write a review of his critique. "Your lack of punctuation here shows you have a low sperm count, and your constant disregard of apostrophes shows that your mom drank whilst you were in the womb."

And then remind him that it's Simon & Garfunkel, not Parliament Funkadelic. You were simply imitating the whiteness of Garfunkel, who is only slightly more animated than Al Gore (I don't know if this is true or not, it's been ages since I've seen a video of him performing....but I'm positive I'm correct).

Natalia the Russian Spy said...

STEVE: I can always rely on you for superlative sledges. But it won't be necessary this time. I've blocked him. In his last comment he mentioned that he would record this song in front of a 300 strong audience and get them all to laugh at me. He also insulted the quality of Garth the bass and my 1000 watt Fender amp and I'm not prepared to respond to him anymore. Where he got the idea that I was trying to 'teach' people how to play is beyond me. Perhaps because so many people asked for tutorials. Anyways I'm not going to spend another second feeling miserable about some cocksucker who has nothing better to do than wind me up.

Bondiboy66 said...

Nat, its Teh InterWebz. No need to feel for this stain on his parent's bedsheets, hook in with gusto! Abuse, slander, call into question his masculinity, suggest that he stop having sexual relations with creatures outside his own species! And moreover, FEEL GOOD that you have laid a gargantuan amount of shit on this oxygen thief.

Care not for the opinion of someone who has to be reminded to breathe.

Natalia the Russian Spy said...

BONDI: His smugness really bothers me!!!

Abe Frellman said...

Man, what an illiterate ignoramus.

Solidarity, Nat, you big spunk!

Bangar said...

I like the revamp.

Natalia the Russian Spy said...

BANG: Still working on the fonts and colours but thanks!

ABE: Love ya comrade!

yankeedog said...

Like the remodel here:

It's like this. If you get a comment on your video that goes like this:

Natalie,

Your bass technique and playing need work.

Sincerely, Geddy Lee

...then I'd sit up and take notice, because he at least has the knowledge and experience to comment. I'll listen to a guy with 40 years experience in a major act! Other than that, meh. I personally like your work on the bass. But I'm not an expert in the field.

Steve said...

That's the thing, Geddy Lee is Canadian and thus too classy to slag her work. Instead, he'd simply comment, "Natalie, I'd eat poutine with you any day of the week, and twice on Sunday."

Natalia the Russian Spy said...

Now some misognynist from Saudi Arabia is on my YouTube accusing me of faking it. Like lip-syncing...but on bass. FFS! Where have all these fuckwits come from?

STEVE: Hehehehe. Cheers. What the hell is poutine BTW??? :-)

YANKEE: Yeah honestly I don't care if they are that great if what they are making is rational. To criticise me for not fingering it the way he supposedly would is ludicrous. What bugged me too was the he kept implying that I thought I was a 'pro' and my motivation was to 'teach' everyone. FFS! I do it for my own entertainment!

Steve said...

While "eating poutine" sounds like a dirty sexual act, it actually refers to eating a typical Canadian dish. It's basically french fries, cheese curds and gravy. Google it. It would make an Englishman feel better about their cuisine.

Natalia the Russian Spy said...

Chips and gravy yes! But cheese too? Heart-attacksville.

Hey I found myself on the English music website NME playing Eagle Rock on bass.

http://www.nme.com/awards/video/id/lroK-Su19Y4%26feature%3Dyoutube_gdata/search/bass+daddy

TAKE THAT TROLL!

Bangar said...

Well done Nat.

Steve said...

The chips, gravy and cheese combo doesn't hurt Canadians as much as you'd think. They get plenty of exercise fleeing from angry bears, moose and beavers.

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