Scratching my own funny bone for shits and giggles. Lampooning books, music and being a single woman over 40. Recording observations with an almost Seinfeldian obsession for the minutiae of life. Things can get sweary around here. You understand.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

PINK FROCKS AND DINNER LADY ARMS

It’s amazing what a pencil skirt can do for a girl. Must admit I enjoyed a degree of male attention at the Breakfast Creek Hotel on Melbourne Cup Day just last Tuesday but alas it was of the leery drunken kind. Impertinent remarks directed towards my rear and choice of hat abounded. As discussed on Twitter a punter at the bar likened me to Inspector Gadget. Well I guess I’ve been called worse. My mother always said to me ‘Nat it’s better to be overdressed than underdressed’ and with that in mind I donned by best ‘work-girl’ outfit bought at Cue several months ago that had until that day, gone unworn. I even scored a couple of free bourbons from an amorous bartender! This is where I’m supposed to insert some faux modesty but fuck that shit. It was fun to dress up and receive compliments. I was expecting to see all sorts of gorgeous girls with glossy hair and well-turned ankles but it was not to be...as my dodgy little video will reveal. It’s such a shame I didn’t get any footage of the nasty piece of work sitting behind me. She was broadcasting the sordid details of her sex life then proceeded to claim she’s had enough and was going to go ‘celebrant’. HA! Nearly snorted my sherbet. I’ve only just mastered the video camera and movie editing software so of course it’s decidedly amateurish. Anyways mucho fun was had, especially when a bunch of disgruntled dentists had to sit with the plebeians in the public bar because the hotel staff stuffed up the bookings.

12 comments:

Havock21 said...

well, I gotta say, now that you have seen it, If you had MY ARSE..they woulda been after ya..flat fkn out. Good gear...

A word to the wise..Boots and pony tail..mmmmm

LERMONTOV said...

You look tres chic and it sounds like a great day at the bar with the beer on the wood!

Havock21 said...

Some things should be SHOT!. Hey, were they craking out the OILS or what!

Nautilus said...

It ALWAYS pays to be overdressed rather than underdressed!

Looking sharp, you certainly have dinner lady arms women well and truly covered.

bangarrr said...

Ah Nat I'm glad I anesthetized first before "Dinner Lady's Arms" (I dare some one to make a cocktail for that). As to the bourbons I'm sure you deserved more, as you were bringing the tone of a the place up further than it deserved.

Barnesm said...

You look magnificent, a class of your own.

Steve said...

I thought "celebrant" was what nuns did when they retired from the nunnery....and their vows.

YsambartCourtin said...

That outfit makes me want a cooling ale.

Flinthart said...

The hat is tres perky. You look positively edible, madame, and I'm not surprised the bar johnny thought he might oil you up and try his luck...

Dr Yobbo said...

That was GOLD.

Abe said...

Thank God you didn't bring bring the camera to the Ship Inn a few weeks ago!

Natalia the Russian Spy said...

ABE: I beg to differ! I was actually kicking myself for not getting some footage of that most excellent evening.

YOBBO: It is amazing what you can catch by just switching the damn thing on and pointing it at life. I almost wet myself at that shot of the guy getting smothered. The look on his face was priceless!!! Can't script that kinda stuff.

FLINT: You are too kind sir! I'm used to being ignored when I slop around in my jeans and T-shirt uniform.

BART: Now I'm thirsty and it's 9am Monday morning.

STEVE: MWAH!!

BARNES: *blushes*

BANG: The Brekky Creek IS a bit of a hole. Despite how beautiful the facade is. Oh and I was well and truly numb when I shot those images. As you may have heard from my very protracted OH MY GAWD.

NAUT: Well and truly covered...MWAH!

HARRY: You and your arse....my GOD man is there no limits to your insufferable EGO!!! ;-)

LERM: That woody beer is indeed tasty. Thanks for the nice comps.

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