Scratching my own funny bone for shits and giggles. Lampooning books, music and being a single woman over 40. Recording observations with an almost Seinfeldian obsession for the minutiae of life. Things can get sweary around here. You understand.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

IF VENUS HAD A PENIS

It's official. It's the second day of Spring in the southern hemisphere. The heavens will proclaim the new season in a few weeks' time with the vernal equinox. The sun will traverse the celestial equator and the days will begin to lengthen, bringing warmth to the earth and heralding a frenzy of activity in the natural world. Here in downtown Holland Park I'm wondering how on earth we Australians are going to celebrate the changing of the seasons. With a jubliant procession to the shrine of Venus, goddess of beauty and love perhaps? Or how about with rabbits and eggs, symbolising fecundity and new life? Well, no quite frankly. Mardi Gras and Easter have appropriated both these rituals and here were are left to celebrate spring by cleaning the gunge off the BBQ, slopping on the fake tan, packing away the leather jackets and queuing online for footy finals tickets. Oh joy of joys. I ask you dear reader: what does September represent for you?

19 comments:

Barnesm said...

August is over?

yankeedog said...

Of course, we do it bass-ack-wards up here and are headed for autumn. Actually, September represents the beginning of the harvest, the trees and plants beginning to change colors, cool nights and mornings (sweater weather), Friday nights of high school football, the NFL starting up, and for outdoors types, the beginning of the various hunting seasons.

I guess the stuff you wrote about in your post and the stuff in my comment are just as opposite as the seasons.

Is there a noticeable difference in the seasons in Brissy? I'd think it'd be like Miami here, mostly the same all year round, with the occasional freak snow once every few decades.

bangarrr said...

One day?

Abe said...

Impending doom, as exams loom.

Hey, that rhymes.

Steve said...

September is the start of soccer season for my girls. This Saturday is the first college football game of the year (Go Hogs!). In a week or so, the New Jersey Devils of the National Hockey League report to preseason training camp. And in 5 weeks, I start hauling all of the Halloween decorations out of the attic. My stockade, my guillotine, etc.

God I love September.

Steve said...

Oh, and next week, the Chicago Bears will lay the first brick on the road which they will pave to the Super Bowl.

Suck it, Green Bay!

Girl Clumsy said...

It's birthday season... The Wah's later this month, then mine coming up in October. With Father's Day as well, that's a lot of presents I have to try to come up with. I'm terrible at thinking up presents. All ahead of Christmas too.

yankeedog said...

Yeah, Steve! Da BEARSSS!! Got a quarterback on the team for the first time since Pearl Harbor was news.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SG8OpQyY6TI

See, Nat, we likes our NFL gridiron up here big time.

Dr Yobbo said...

One month to Bathurst.

Moko said...

If Venus had a penis eh?. I prepared a song:

If Venus had a penis
She'd hammer in the morning
She'd hammer in the evening
All over this land
She'd hammer out si-ide
She'd hammer in the morning
She'd hammer out love between my brothers and my sisters o.O
All over this la-and

Bondiboy66 said...

(Stolen shamelessly and without remorse from another forum):
Spring is here. Hooray! Hooray!
Outdoor Sex begins today!

Barnesm said...

"If Venus had a penis" would she be called Denis?

Nautilus said...

I'm with Abe and the Doc.

Steve said...

If Venus had a penis, I'm pretty sure I saw s/he in Times Square New York this past weekend.

Flinthart said...

...more firkin' rain.

Natalia the Russian Spy said...

Of course you all know I was deliberately inviting trouble with that title...one thing just led to another and you know...Steve I'm sure Sydney's Mardi Gras could rival with the she-men of New York...

FLINT: Sounds like you're gonna have to don some gumboots and swan around nekkid!

STEVE: Halloween is my favourite time 'round your place!

NAUT: Many of us frequently are...

BARNES: Yes. No question....and yeah...time flys...all too quickly for my liking.

BONDI: I like the way you think sunshine!

MOKO: Babe...you always make me laugh.

YOBBO: How long has it been since Brock's death? Two or three years?

YANKEE: I LOVE the Bears tune...what a rousing melody!!!!

GC: Try having a birthday four days after Xmas! Good to see you love.

ABE: All the best my darling Sausage King...hey I loved that comment in Blunty last Tuesday about you being the Sausage King of Brisbane...ah the poor man...!

BANG: Oh yeah...that day...my best girlfriend's birthday is the same day.

Steve said...

Nat, people in Chicago use that song as a wedding march. I'm pretty sure it would make good lovemaking music too, but I've yet to find a woman willing to prove that theory.

And you're right, Sydney would compete against NYC for trannies, but wait until the Gay St. Patrick's Day Parade in NYC, then NY would hold its own.

Natalia the Russian Spy said...

STEVE: I dunno...reckon they'd be on par! Glad you didn't make that comment about the the lovemaking to the Bears tune around at KCL. I suspect they'd have suggested you find a gay partner to test that theory ;-)

idoru said...

a fun packed month of writing music with the hope of winning and making some cash outta it!

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