Scratching my own funny bone for shits and giggles. Lampooning books, music and being a single woman over 40. Recording observations with an almost Seinfeldian obsession for the minutiae of life. Things can get sweary around here. You understand.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

TORTURING INNOCENTS

Just had a run in with the yappy dog next door. Apparently his name is 'Fluffy'. I learnt this quite by accident when I heard his big burly owner growl out his name last week telling him to 'shut the fuck up'. Ha! I was at the letterbox and fetching the bins when he came bolting over to put on his big show. I turned around, looked at him with distaste and then claimed my territory by basically marching in his general direction and giving him a good kick in kidneys as he got under foot. Well then he proceeds to bolt, turning back every so often to yap it up some more but careful to keep his distance. Fuck it's funny watching little dogs put on a bit of bravado. Wonder what he'd be like with a few beers and cones in him? The mind boggles.

12 comments:

Dr Yobbo said...

Little yappy dogs shit me to tears.

That is all.

Steve said...

Can't stand them either. Way too noisy and useless.

Bondiboy66 said...

Didja have the FMBs on when you reefed the dog up the khyber?

yankeedog said...

I like dogs-except for little yippy ones.

Like you, I marvel at their spirit. It's like they don't realize how tiny they are in comparison to just about everything else.

They say it ain't the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. Might be true, up to a point.

Steve said...

Small dogs with long skinny snouts were bred to yank rats out of tight spaces, to eliminate vermin.

Makes me wonder what the point was of tiny dogs with round faces that could never get their heinous snouts into rat holes.

chazfh said...

don't do yappy dogs (although I hear lerm does)

just bait some rat trpas with tucker time it'll soon know it's place..either that or claymores....

Moko said...

When I first got to Brisbane I used to walk from a friends place in Kangaroo Point to my place in Morningside. I had to walk past this one particular house where this stupid bitch had a nasty little furry thing, and a dog of similar size. The dog, fortunately, used to come running out bark and snap at ya feet. Once or twice the 'owner' stuck her feral looking face at the door and yell at ME...

ONEDAY, the same thing happened but this time the mongrel on two legs said nothing. I got the width of their property with this thing grabbing at my ankles. Still, no sound from the house. I stopped, turned, and swung my size 9 1/2 right Doc and caught that fucking thing right in the side of the head. It spun on the spot a full 270 degrees and just fell on it's side. I freaked. I looked at it and it's eyes were open but it was GONE.

I picked up the pace then at about 20 feet away I heard this dog YELP. I turned and saw the little fucker running inside.

It NEVER bothered me again. True yarn.

Natalia the Russian Spy said...

MOKO: You couldn't help it if fur-ball got in your path now could you? :-)

CHAZ: He does what? I shudder to think!

BONDI: Still no luck with those babies. Did have a decent trainer on that woulda hurt. But honestly my foot just landed there in my attempts to prove supremity of species!

YANKEE: Oh yeah. This one overcompensates.

STEVE and YOB: Aw come on...they is fun to mess wif!

LERMONTOV said...

Well I did go to Churchie - we're good with dogs!

When I saw the title of this post, I assumed that it was going to be about tv programming in the 21st century.

bangarrr said...

I find crackers work wonders, and it lets you reach out and touch.

YsambartCourtin said...

When I was at school there was a yappy, nippy dog. It usually left me alone and went for others, as I would give it 'the look'. It latched onto me once. I simply dropped my schoolbag on top of it. That thing clocked in at around 15kg of text books.

There was a thud, a groan, and a wriggle out. I gave it the look. It never bothered anyone in our school uniforms again.

It still liked to chew on the state school kids.

Barnesm said...

Such a metaphor for so many things in the current world of politics.

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