Wednesday, July 15, 2009
My housemate and I have just planted some vegies. Everything seems to have taken well particularly the snap peas which are thriving under upturned drink bottles. So far they haven’t succumbed to any pests but I’m not looking forward to the summer planting if my efforts from years gone by are anything to go by. Years back I went through a stage of shunning pesticides but it’s one thing to garden organically and quite another to be running what amounts to be a Sizzlers for bugs. It takes more ingenuity to hunt down and kill a cabbage white butterfly than it does to fell a rhinoceros. The following is a list of my attempts to become a tiny game-hunter. Grasshoppers: lay pieces of yellow plastic in the garden, make a small depression and pour beer into it. The grasshoppers will be attracted by the smell and drink the beer giving time for birds to catch them…I tried this one to no avail. I decided that waiting for them to die of cirrhosis of the liver would be quicker. I put out some beer nuts and employed a praying mantis to play ‘Piano Man’ which only resulted in them partying all bloody night and crashing on the lettuces. I can only presume that my magpies were teetotallers. Moths and Beetles: mix stale beer, brown sugar and crushed bananas to a thick paste and smear it on tree trunks…again a failure. A possum licked it off and attempted to hump the garden gnome. Aphids: in the morning when the bugs are too cold and lethargic to move quickly, try vacuuming them…it took me three hours to hunt down enough extension cord and then I spent the rest of the afternoon attempting to prise a beetroot out of the crevice tool. So as you can see my previous attempts to control pests have been futile. I can honestly say that carrot was one of the best meals I’ve ever had. Wish me luck. I may very well learn how to live with them.