Thursday, June 4, 2009
Greetings! Another sporadic entry from yours truly. Since the house finally settles in a week’s time, I’ve been on the hunt for a rental property. From somebody that has been an owner for several years I’d forgotten how much real estates make the humble renter feel like chopped liver. To go from having an agent falling all over you to being treated like dirt as a renter makes my blood boil! During the process of inspecting about fifteen different properties I had to deal with several curt young ladies on the telephone. I repeat…not a happy camper about being made to feel sub-human. Anyways, I’ve found the perfect property and have put in an application. Fingers crossed. There’s a lot of filthy, rundown rentals out there. I had to kiss a lot of toads let me tell you. But there was a little surprise waiting for me in a place I looked at in Salisbury that tickled my fancy. A warning to all potential renters: if the internet ad does not show internal pictures of the property, don’t waste your time inspecting it! This place was positively feral…kinda looked like a bunch of marauding soldiers had occupied the building during wartime and trashed the joint. Mud tracked over every square inch of the carpet, dust an inch thick on every surface, windows that had lost their transparency, the smell of stale piss. Urgh. But what have we here on the floor in the second bedroom? A pile of crusty old undies and a book…hey I recognise that cover…HOW TO BE A MAN by John Birmingham and Dirk Flinthart. WTF??? I do believe the back cover reads something like, ‘For the purposes of this book, we’re going to assume that you’re within the normal boundaries of blokehood. You know enough to shower daily, brush your teeth after meals and pick the fattest, slowest moving lice from your body. If this description doesn’t apply to you, no amount of reading is going to be of assistance.’ Ha! So Dirk and Birmo…I thought you should know…despite all your best efforts and advice…some men are clearly beyond help. And I had such high hopes for the evolution of man.