Scratching my own funny bone for shits and giggles. Lampooning books, music and being a single woman over 40. Recording observations with an almost Seinfeldian obsession for the minutiae of life. Things can get sweary around here. You understand.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

ME AND MY NEW(ISH) CELICA

Well the Commodore is now officially dead. This is me with the replacement: a 1993 Toyota Celica. Two doors, power windows...and naff little spoiler. Just need some mags and a proper detail and she should look pretty schmick. Picked it up for an absolute bargain. Second gear has plenty of legs in it...basically it goes like a shower of shit! Of course it pales in comparison to the Mazda RX-8 of which I had a drive of recently...but at about 55 grand difference in price I think I'll stick with this baby. More pictures of it can be viewed here.

41 comments:

Nautilus said...

Certainly looks spy-worthy. Have you named it yet?

NATALIA THE RUSSIAN SPY said...

Shit no I haven't. Better get to work on that.

YsambartCourtin said...

So you look up a soviet vehicle website and steal a name! I like "The Tatra!"

See: http://www.autosoviet.altervista.org/

Tim said...

Great lookin' wheels , Nat. Congrats! :)

Therbs said...

Nice wheels, Nat. I need a lift to the pub.

NATALIA THE RUSSIAN SPY said...

BART: Brilliant! I'm leaning towards MOSKVITCH mainly because I can rhyme it with bitch ;-)

TIM: Cheers!

THERB: No worries buddy. Gimme 18 hours.

LERMONTOV said...

Nice chassis!

hughesy said...

A silly car!

Name: scat

Nat'scat

Dr Yobbo said...

The Lada Niva 1600 Turist.

Was a very shit car and you shouldn't name yours after it.

Toyota - should go indefinitely, which is always a plus. A lot of the Celicas were designed in a dark room by Stevie Wonder but that vintage wasn't too bad. Some mates of mine had well-off property investor parents (bastards) and bought a black GT-Four - the twin-turbo all-wheel-drive rally homologation model - rolled down from Brisbane and scared seven shades of shite out of Yer Correspondent on the main road out of town and back. That went like a shower of shit out of a scalded cat on a hot tin roof gaffa-taped to a Saturn V moon rocket. Or metric equivalent.

chazfh said...

lerms right lurvly bodywork guv!

Nat, don't forgert the fluro's and LED's

brian said...

I dont see the obligatory fluffy dice on the rear mirror.

Or the cushions - lovingly embroided with scenes of St Basils Cathedral.

Flinthart said...

Sweeeet. Vroom! Vrooom!

Can ya fit the double bass into it?

Kimmywoo said...

Where are the fluffy dice ploise?

abefrellman said...

Noice...don't go gittin no tickets now...

Big Bad Al said...

White Lightning!

Steve said...

Well, this should certainly upgrade your home's profile on Google Earth, from the "Kidnapper Special" panel van that had "Free Candy" painted on the side that used to be there (I believe that belonged to your daughter's boyfriend?).

Steve said...

Oh, and I'd like to propose a naming contest....we toss out names, you whittle it down to 5, then let us vote!

MrScribbler said...

There's a car in that picture? I'd best go look again...naaaah, still can't see it.

You look smashing though, Nat!

Anneal said...

Hey...I just BET you got a deal on it..seeing that the wheel is on the wrong side and all!

Barnesm said...

Sweeet,
though when I went to the photostream you also had a picture of your C20 Globlemaster aircraft.

The Celica should fit inside that no worries.

antic said...

I had an '84 notch back celica five speed. coolio

NATALIA THE RUSSIAN SPY said...

BARNES: Yes indeed...as well as a couple of tanks and a chinook! Those planes are AWE-some. You should see it do a nose to ground dive with a full load!

ANNEAL: But the right side is always right!

ANTIC: You still see that model kickin' around here.

MR SCRIB: And I thought you were a car enthusiast...!

STEVE: My daughter has a boyfriend? WHAT?!?! Lemme at him! BTW...would love to hear your ideas for a name. Bound to be something that'll make my eyes water ;-)

BBA: Sometimes it even sizzles and pops!

ABE: I have a full complement of points on my license ready to burn baby!

KIMMY: Nah...I wanted it to un-YOU-sche-WUL.

DIRK: Yes! I just pop the back seat down and it fits partly in the boot. Happy days.

BRIAN: If only my granny was still alive...I'd have a crocheted steering wheel cover.

LERM and CHAZ: Yeah not bad for an old girl...uh?...what?...oh you meant the car. Ahem.

HUGESY: Not silly! Not silly!

DR YOBBO: Man I love your way with words. And that's an affirmative on the LADA. What a weak bunch of bollocks that thing was.

Steve said...

Boyfriend, or a flat-chested girlfriend. Hard to tell from my vantage point (I was trying to steal your lamb shank recipe with these high-powered binoculars).

OK, potential names:

Is Christine out? How do you feel about naming her after a murderous vehicle?

Yamamoto? Cause it'd take a squadron of Americans to rattle her?

How about Busch...named after Kyle Busch, NASCAR's top Toyota driver (plus, Busch is fun to say).

Of course, it's Japanese, so you might want to consider something powerful and German to counteract it's Japaneseness. Perhaps Fritz? Rolf? Or feminine....Helga.....Ingrid?

Dr Yobbo said...

Name it after Kyle Busch and all it'll be able to do is turn left. While being booed by Dale Earnhardt Jr fans. Not a win.

A mate of the old man's bought a Niva when they first came out. The gearbox was made from old tins of borscht and the steering was some sort of Soviet-bloc bullworker arrangement aimed to increase fitness in Mother Russia's pool of potential conscripts. It was a bucket of arse with rustholes around the bottom.

In the Russkie vein I propose calling it the Yeltsin 521. Yeltsin because it's likely to drink plenty (when used in the manner to which you would want it to become accustomed), 521 because those are the odds of it veering cock-eyed into a bar on the way home from work.

Steve said...

Well, it's better than naming it after another famous Toyota driver...."Waltrip." Unless of course Natalie's new car is a closet homosexual, in which case it would be a perfect name.

Steve said...

Speaking of NASCAR...

http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/92422?fp=1

This is pretty funny....I can imagine all those Bubbas about ready to slit their own throat before cheering for a Jap team.

Bondiboy66 said...

Fully sick! Uleh! I'll bet the ironing board on the back adds ooooh at least 5 kmh to the top speed! Now all you need is the foooollleee seeck maaate sub woofer the size of a garbage bin lid in the back you are ready to doofdoof the neighbours into insensibility!

(Actually they aren't a bad car Nat!)

yankeedog said...

I knew a girl who had a Celica of that vintage-they aren't a bad vehicle. A good choice, I think.

I'll bet you're going to miss that dodgy ol' Commodore :P.

The Rhino said...

Hmmm ... shouldn't you be wearing a mini and thigh high boots standing next to that? SWEET!

Just sayin' is all.

chazfh said...

Nat you're still younger than me!

brian said...

The pictures funny. Is it off a phone? Nats got the longest legs . . .and the Celica's got that boxxy Commodore look to it.

Dr Yobbo said...

Weird 'cos it was known as the jelly-mould Celica when it came out.

brian said...

Dr Yobo : Aha! . . .the shake and wobble model! . . . a classic of its type.

antic said...

natalie, check out your gmail account sometime

Havock21 said...

Nat, do not let CHAZ bear it, before you know it, you will have cow print car seat covers, a lip gloss holder and be listening to Gloria gaynor or Estefannnn ..GFHELP US.

UP, check the brackets under the front bumper, you just might be able to fit a ROO bar and then DRIVING LIGHTS ( BULL LIGHTS), and then some aerials, CB, UHF and Mobile phone, cos ya must be HAND FREE, then Chrome pedal covers, BLUE Neons are the go under the sills and front air dam. MAGS, yeah, ya should be able to put a good 7 inch whell unedr it. DO NOT, I REPEAT, do not go bigger than 17 inch rubber, 18 and 19 are as dear as poison. Funnt thing is, 16 and 17 inch rubber is about the same. Although your speedo might well be out to shit, I think they run 15's ion them now, not sure, but tell me the rim size and tyre profiles and welll , then we can work out what you COULD fit in the various sizes.

brian said...

Further to Havs comments. One of those dangly little pine tree odour sucker uppers. (great for sucking up the smell of Big Mac burgers. And dirty socks)

NATALIA THE RUSSIAN SPY said...

Sorry I've been slack on the responding...still have quite a few walls to sugar soap even though my right arm feels like it's about to drop off. House goes on the market in less than two weeks. I'll be back tomorrow you bunch of reprobates!

brian said...

Well . . .? We clowns will be here. :)

Steve said...

Curb feelers. That car needs curb feelers.

And a T-top. Anyone got a Sawzall?

NATALIA THE RUSSIAN SPY said...

BRIAN: No the photo wasn't taken with a phone. Simply I had to reduce the width for it to fit this particular blog template. Legs are long but not quite as freakish as they look on screen!...and I wouldn't be seen dead with one of those pine-tree-scent-thingies...got me an Ambi-Pur!

HARRY: I'll get back to you on the rim size when the time comes my friend and I love those neons! Gotta get me some of those...but dontcha think a ROO BAR is a bit of overkill? I really don't need much help in mowing down hapless old people you know ;-)

BONDI: Ha! Everytime I get into that thing now I channel the guys from Pizza!...but nothing on this earth could pay me to play DOOF...I prefer to send 'em crazy with Metal of all varieties 'cept SCREAMO.

YANKEE: The Dunnydore is still sitting folornly outside on the road. Once I rip out the stereo (which cost me a fortune) and sell it on EBAY I'm gonna have the thing wrecked. Feeling bittersweet about that.

RHINO: Good onya! I've got the legs baby but not the knees. Women over forty have a duty to conceal!

STEVE: Trying to steal my lamb shanks? Ha!...as for French NASCARS...the horreur!!! As for a German name...well I prefer to reserve those for household appliances ;-) And yes...I DO HAVE A SAWZALL!

DR YOBBO: A mate of the old man's bought a Niva when they first came out. The gearbox was made from old tins of borscht and the steering was some sort of Soviet-bloc bullworker arrangement aimed to increase fitness in Mother Russia's pool of potential conscripts. It was a bucket of arse with rustholes around the bottom...RUSSIAN RANGE ROVER MY ARSE!

AS FOR THE NAME: I'm leaning towardS the YELTSIN...simple because Boris doing the chicken dance is in my 'Top One Hundred of Piss-Funny Moments of the 20th Century'...let's get the Celica's arse-a-wigglin'!

Steve said...

OK, so that also rules out Siegried. I guess you could use that for a household appliance instead. But NOT the Sawzall. An appliance that fierce needs an equally fierce name....Rommel, for example (but dear God not his first name, Irwin....that's almost as nerdy as Dwight).

Now....take Rommel, go outside, and make yourself a T-top. Be sure to have caulk and duct tape on hand, and a sander.

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