Friday, January 23, 2009
I reckon it was all downhill for the female species the moment man put on a pair of pants. I was lazing about on the couch and channel surfing this afternoon when I stumbled upon Rob Roy on the movie channel. It was during that idyllic scene with his wife and children in the Scottish countryside. More specifically the part where Rob Roy explains what ‘honour’ means to his children and then the sex scene with Jessica Lange. Oh man. That scene does things to me. All that fresh air and green grass and rolling hillsides and wildflowers…oh and Liam Neeson reclining casually against a rock looking absolutely magnificent helps. His long, muscular legs stretched out before him. His wife’s hands snaking up his kilt to cop a feel and then taking him right there out in the open. Heavens to Murgatroid! Lucky wench! I wonder what it is about men in skirts? What is so alluring that causes women to openly goggle and behave just like the brothers? All I can say is that after watching Jessica Lange get it on with Liam Neeson this afternoon I am absolutely certain that it speaks to the primal cave woman within. I say the lads are a bit hard up should get themselves into a man skirt and start reaping the benefits. Not a Scotsman? So what? Go for it. Wear a toga if you must. Give your woman permission to release the inner predator within! Who invented damned pants anyway? Shy strawberry pickers? Cowboys with chaffing? Puritans hell-bent on coverage? I say bring back the man skirt and bring it back today! All those in favour say aye!